The NCLEX part 2

While I was taking the NCLEX, a most remarkable thing had happened. I was relaxed. The entire time. Once I left that room though, I felt like I had been in a coma. I didn't know up from down or what on earth had just happened. I think I was too shocked to cry. It is quite typical for graduates who have just taken the NCLEX to sob hysterically the whole car ride home. Not one little tear. Just a blank stare the whole half hour ride home. There was no way I could have passed. Not with the majority of the questions being SATA.

Many of the people who had wished me "Good luck!" before the test called to see how it went. I told them I didn't think that it went all that well. How could it? Not with those questions. They accounted for well over half of my test. And, on the drive home, I thought of two more that I knew I had gotten wrong. I told them I'd know for sure by Tuesday, but wasn't very optimistic at this point. It wasn't until Ty got home that I really broke down. I cried for the $200 more that we would have to spend on a !@#$ test. I cried for more of my time lost. I cried in sheer frustration at how ridiculous of a test this was. I cried because I didn't know what else I could have done differently. I cried because it was a cruel trick that had been played on me. I thought I had gotten my life and my time back. Now I would become a prisoner to studying again. He is such a good husband and just let me weep, wail, and gnash my teeth. He was convinced however, that I had passed. "You always think that you do horrible," he said "and wind up passing. I'm sure you passed it."

I wouldn't allow myself such optimistic thoughts. We made a bet. He said that I had passed, I was certain that I had failed. Our wager: Being the main teacher for our Primary class. For a month.
Our class contains a few hellions. And a stripper. (Seriously, every week it is a challenge to keep this kid clothed.) It sure was going to be nice to get a month's break from these rascals.

I've once read a description- I can't remember what it was about, my guess would be a mental health disorder, but it goes something like this. "On the surface they look very calm, when underneath they are filled with turmoil." That is about how the weekend went. I worked Saturday night, and it was calming to hear people say that they knew someone who had to take the NCLEX four times before they passed. Or that the girl in the top of their class had to take it twice. They also reassured me that the job which I'd been hired on for, would still be there. It did make me feel better, but underneath there was still the anxiety and the anticipation. I didn't know if I had passed or failed. (Yeah, that's another little gem standing out from among the NCLEX's crown jewels. There is no 85% that they tell you. It's black and white with these guys. Pass or fail.)

That was the longest weekend of my life.(So far). I checked the Division of occupational licensing website. I wasn't going to allow myself to be completely obsessive and check it every hour, just twice a day. Every time I looked, the screen popped up showing that I was still a 'Licensced Practical Nurse'- not a Registered Nurse. Each time I looked was an assurance that I would be facing the NCLEX again.

I had checked this little website Monday morning, and still, no sign of being a Registered Nurse, a REAL Nurse. So I went about my day, doing some laundry, watching some Netflix, running, and trying not to think about altering my life again to fit NCLEX studying in it. Tyson came home from work. He said, "As of an hour ago, it still hasn't been posted." I gave a dejected sigh and opened my arms for a hug. He gave me my much needed hug and we headed towards the computer room. He then asked me a pivotal question, "Should we pay the money and find out the quick result answers?"

Okay, the quick result answers are the NCLEX's way of trying to make up for being such a phenomenal pain in the keister. It puts you out of t he agony of not knowing, but it still has a small price. $8. My anxiety had lasted long enough. And c'mon, $8 wasn't going to break us. $8 could buy peace of mind. Any more "under the surface" simmering and I was sure to boil over. I told him yes, we could find out the results. (I think he was just as stressed about this as I was, only he handled it much better than I did.)

He was driving the computer at this point, and logged in to Pearson Vue. We found the Quick Results link and clicked on that. I tell ya, each click about put me over the edge. I would think that the next screen popping up would be the one, the one to tell me how to plan the next months of my life and NO. Instead it would want to verify my card and click to proceed.

But the one little screen finally did appear. It would have had to, sooner or later.

Glancing through the little box, it identified me as the candidate, the time and place where I took the NCLEX and the last little row said pass.

PASS.

I know some people don't believe that miracles happen anymore. But this, my friends, was a miracle. I had passed. I had passed with the majority of the questions being the fiendish SATA. I had passed. Life. Could. BEGIN. We did spend the next five minutes making sure that it hadn't been a mistake; that these results were really did indicate that I had indeed passed the NCLEX. Yes, these "unofficial" results were true. I had passed.

Halle-frickin-lu-YA!!

We quickly spread the good word around. I was so relieved. And a bit dumbfounded too. Could I really truly and honestly start my life up, like I had planned after graduation? Was I really going to get to work as a RN? Was I really, truly and honestly a Real Nurse?


Yup. :D

So, now my friends, it is official. LIFE BEGINS.

I'll keep you posted on how the next month of Primary goes.

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR LOVE, SUPPORT, and PRAYERS. IT MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE.