I did exactly what I didn't want to do.
I had a meltdown.
AT WORK.
(Luckily it wasn't in front of the patient)
It was a very chaotic day- and I didn't have one specific nurse staying with me and "orienting" me. A few different nurses would pop in occasionally and check on me to see if I was still alive. And I was doing ok, up until the point where the baby tanked.
(Ok, the baby hadn't tanked completely, I'd seen babies do this before, but this was my first time alone.)
The solution was real simple, just a bit of ephedrine but as another random nurse and I walked in to give it- I stopped and told her I needed a moment.
That moment lasted an hour and a half.
I have to be sincere and thank my Heavenly Father for all my wonderful co-workers.
They reassured me that clinically speaking, I'd done everything right.
That me freaking out right now, was a good sign-because I'm sensible enough to be scared spitless.
That this is normal. It might have been my first freak out, but it won't be my last.
It is the scariest thing in the world knowing you have not one, but TWO lives in your care. And that really hit home that day.
Scared. Me. To. Death.
Fight or flight instincts really kicked in, and I fled.
So I told myself- NO MORE. It's time to step up, take care of my patients, and do my job.
I'll keep you posted.
I had a meltdown.
AT WORK.
(Luckily it wasn't in front of the patient)
It was a very chaotic day- and I didn't have one specific nurse staying with me and "orienting" me. A few different nurses would pop in occasionally and check on me to see if I was still alive. And I was doing ok, up until the point where the baby tanked.
(Ok, the baby hadn't tanked completely, I'd seen babies do this before, but this was my first time alone.)
The solution was real simple, just a bit of ephedrine but as another random nurse and I walked in to give it- I stopped and told her I needed a moment.
That moment lasted an hour and a half.
I have to be sincere and thank my Heavenly Father for all my wonderful co-workers.
They reassured me that clinically speaking, I'd done everything right.
That me freaking out right now, was a good sign-because I'm sensible enough to be scared spitless.
That this is normal. It might have been my first freak out, but it won't be my last.
It is the scariest thing in the world knowing you have not one, but TWO lives in your care. And that really hit home that day.
Scared. Me. To. Death.
Fight or flight instincts really kicked in, and I fled.
So I told myself- NO MORE. It's time to step up, take care of my patients, and do my job.
I'll keep you posted.
1 comment:
Oh my goodness, all of these situations sound so intense!! I'm glad there are people brave enough and caring enough to be hospital workers. I hope it gets a little more comfortable soon!
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